Lude and Nude: A Weekend Alone with Kyle Brown

A weekend to discover the substance of this "european experience" that is supposed to broaden my sense of self and "paradigm" of other cultures...? Will I unleash the power within me that will purify the weak, wandering, and become an honest human that lives by his own "conduct?" Will remembering the lyrics to "Wagon Wheel" make me "fit in with new friends more?" Should one walk down the stairs with hands in pockets? When is it "okay" to fuck a fat girl? Will i stop harrassing cab drivers? All of these questions will be answered in the First Annual Crude, Lude, and Nude dans Bohemia!


The Michiganers leave for Amsterdam and I am left with the trashed mess from the festivities of John's Birthday. The night, Wednesday, was filled with Americans humping each others legs and men fighting each other over who's their girl. I get kicked out for the 2nd time in a row; towards the end of the night I just want to terrorize the bouncers in the establishment. Jessica, the Alaskan Disaster, passes out and is being accosted to get the fuck out by the bouncer. Shouting ensues, he tries to grab her arm and i stand up, weighing half the size of him, and shove him off ensuring he won't use force to move a lady. After returning home, drinking champagne, and making potato-egg-cheese burgers the house is left looking like the Port Au Prince aftermath.
But anyways, its Thursday night and i have tickets to the Liverpoool match. Drink heavily on the tram there and get noticed by some English blokes. Me and these old fellows get out and walk through a very desolate park. I break off and find myself in a gang of 'Pool hoodlums. We're right by the stadium and mounted police men are escorting us as cops in full riot uniform are preventing fans from throwing glass shards. I'm out of there before I get tagged. Into the game and in my seats. Beautiful stadium and looking at the field is breathtaking. The magnitude of witnessing a real Europa league game is really special; just seeing the bright green pitch was enough to give me goosebumps. I wound up on the 4th row right in front of the '18 and behind the nearest goal were the Liverpool faithful. Kuyt, Carragher, Merieles, Maxi Rodriguez, Skrtel, Reina, Lucas, all playing a little one touch right in front of me. It was giddy but i was wearing a Sparta scarf so my smiles were held back. The roar of the crowd when the players were introduced was fantastic- putting up my colors for the home squad was so cool. WOOH but the game was fucking terrible (long story short)- maybe 2 shots on goal total and no creativity, im done talking about. i went home in the huge crowd of disillusioned fans with hands near frostbite and went to sleep. mer.
Wake up Friday and the room mates leave. I plug in my amp into the wall and it immediately short circuits the whole apartment and sends the amp to its grave. My electric guitar playing without any complaints is ruined and im left stacking juice, meat, fruit, and a carton of eggs out on the porch so they won't go bad. Was left playing the guitar for most of the dreary day, playing "Late Nite Soccer" over and over and actually had one really impressive take; discovered a new tone for my voice and though its been hard to recreate after hearing it i think i can take it somewhere. Clean the whole apartment while listening to Neil Young, The Replacements, missing Otis Redding, and schedule a rendez vous with the Jen & Lauren. Their apartments cool but in the only area of Prague where i've seen Czech gangsters loitering the streets. Chinese food also aint bad hurr. Long story short we hang out and talk about their innocent drug habits, NYU norms, trips and stuff, i dont know. They drink Riesling and talk about their going out uniforms, i didnt relate. We go to what they call "Cute Bar," since the sign has lost multiple letters. Very awesome place, had a minature dollhouse type set up where different sections of the bar can be reached by seperate staircases and all had an open face from one angle... like an open dollhouse. We all talk for hours and its quite wonderful not quite sure what about but it was 11 and we left at 3. I got a taxi home and decided not to heckle. Too tired. Home alone and want to watch something. Go to sleep.
Wake at 12 and talk to Noah on Facebook. Make my new famous breakfast dish, Spinach, Onion, & White Cheddar Omelette. Get lost a lil bit but find my way to the Salvador Dali Exhibit. Talking art with Noah's really fun, especially about something as eccentric as Dali. Didn't realize he was so self involved and mostly used his own appearance as his interpretation. One of the rooms his "25 Interpretations of Salvador Dali (if its in 3rd person, you know he's a cheeseball). Incredibly confusing, often hidden images amongst the chaos of the portrait. Lots of animals, spoons, elephants, bees, all interacting in a sort of Chutes And Ladders type construction. And every single of them depicted his penis in an enormous manner, whether it was a cactus that a man was straddling or a man with something fallic being laid on a wheel to be carried. I didn't take pictures for the "sanctity for the art," but i at least shouldve snapped one or two of these guys. They were puzzling but incredibly inventive. Me, Oona Noah, the cheerleader Britney, and the nice queer boy, Andrew travel to the globe for Irish Coffees and Scrabble. Then off to the USAC dorm and heavy drinking ensues. Mr. Max, a Midwestern cowboy with a great taste for Ryan Adams, pulls out the guitar and the fest of bad Chromeo turns to singalong. "Wagon Wheel" may be the most universal American tune of this era, i have never seen that many different people get up and sing so jubialantly to a song in my life. The metro trip involved us fearlessly sliding down the 80 foot long escalators, encountering a treacherous herd of luggage on wheels, and surfing the subway train, being completely proud of our American boisterous. We go to USUDU and carouse the cavernous spaces. Smoking inside fucking owns. Found a foosball room and challenge some Czechs, i master the offensive twisties and take down the regulars. The girls are getting more annoying as the night goes on and im fed up. Big girl been there done that and not having it and me Noah and the new Dan decide to walk home. This involves Noah getting his stolen beer mug stolen by a trashman ("What gives you the right sir? That is my property!") Drunken bratwursts, Lays "Grilled Bacon" flavored chips, road Gambrinus', and meeting some Czech teens and picking on their pipsqueak friend. Make it to Noahs apartment. Find a bed without a girl i'll regret and sleep until 12.
Go to Bohemia Bagel and get bottomless fountain drinks (!!!!!!!!!)
That's a wrap, hey hey hey momma leave me like you found me. Will start taking pictures to go along with posts.

Don't Steal

This song isn't the Beatles at their finest but with George looking so goofy I thought it should be acknowledged. From the Beatles break up dvd, this song can be heard by She & Him, the Beatles 1963 rendition, and the wonderful original by Smokey Robinson. The backing vocals on the chorus give the song such great soulful energy you'd think you were at baptist church in your Sunday's finest.
"You Really Got a Hold On Me"

The Stones are unbelievable architects of song. Mick's voice is so versatile here it sweeps you straight up as the backing band crescendo-s the song away. The instruments playfully harmonize and really create some special moments. Wyman get out of my head i swear he knows everything i want to hear ten seconds before i realize it. It's just another gem.

The Rolling Stones, "Moonlight Mile"

"Made a ragpile of my shiny clothes
Gonna warm my bones
I got silence on the radio
Let the airwaves flow


Oh I'm sleeping under strange strange skies
Just another mad mad day on the road
My dreams is fading down the railway line
I'm just about a moonlight mile on the road"


I'm signing up for my Israel birthright trip and gonna make the pilgrimage this summer. My Jewish experience class is teaching me so many vital details of the faith, about the Talmud, the Tanakh, and just how long it takes for debts to become null. (It's 7 years, Doug). Went to a concert last night with Noah & company. Took the bus for the first time and wound up at the sketchiest part of Prague yet. But man it was the place ive been looking for. So many grimey czechs with funny haircuts and facial hair you can smell the communist revolt in the air. Half the size, but same filth, as new brookland tavern the band didn't have much space to play but they fucking killed it. I mean these guys guitar grooves were so technical and their sound was so refreshing. Maps & Atlases, the singer has the same croon as the kings of leon frontman but has crazy fast fingers. They also came out after the set and played acoustics in the crowd where for one song the singer tuned his guitar to an open and played it on his lap but as he played he would tune strings to create this whacky twang. I've seen a guitar played by a dildo but nothing like that. They have the same ability as Women but they come across as more progressive rock like Minus the Bear; some of the music was very poppy but some of it just toppled all over the place with clammering drum beats. Like jenga. On the bus back and the driver deliberately slammed on the brakes as i was taking a sip of my road juice; no one ever told us you can't drink on the public transit.
Tonight's John Wilhelm's birthday. Hysteria, you got a new neighbor.

Taco Monday Presented by Taco Tuesday @ Panaroma

Wow, that was a lot of tequila. Panaroma cooked admirably for our whore house companions and made some great burritos. I'd have to give myself credit for manning the stove. And Brad for once actually contributed to something besides his stupid womp womp by making guacamole. The conversation at dinner was very easy and the girls have great personalities; they don't try too hard to impress. Lauren and Jen also have inside jokes that are fun to witness even though i have no idea what they're talking about. Good essence. Reminds me of someone else. One thing to keep in mind is i have to create a new name describing a man with an especially fantastic mullet. As well as some operations to steal babies and puppies. Keep me on my toes, sugar momma, i'll lay low..




My Morning Jacket, "Lay Low"


Lay back awhile and I'll show ya, I got the good that you want no
need to go and, hunt something else, it's right here with me, when you stay.
It's always good when I get to see that there's never more than what you're telling me when you
stay, home.
Lay low if the feel is right,I got all that I want here in you tonite and we'll,
pass out on the bedroom floor after goin like this so long.

Bye to Popeye

Today's update, maybe ill go report on last week but probably not.
Stone cold slept until 3:30 in the afternoon. This basically explains how warped Panaroma's sleep cycle is. Laid around and went to this Italian restaurant we had spotted for its peculiar name: Lupe Fiasco. Pretty good fare but enduring the radio choices might have been a little too much. Wondering whether the rapper has anything to do with this place, I'm sure he'd have a hernia knowing that Simple Plan and Rob Thomas was the music of choice in a restaurant sharing his name. The gang goes to the super market after wards to buy some errands and upon walking out the door I see a familiar sight. A Popeye-patch beanie I lost recently was being sported by one of Czechs humble, non-English speaking bums. Already suffering some small anxiety about losing me favorite cap earlier and now seeing its possibility of return, i had to act. I chased him down and tried to talk to him. Not happening. Using motions to dramatize the loss of the beanie i awkwardly performed for the bum with his appearance growing increasingly uncomfortable. Enter: policemen! Now with my audience grown, my explanation of how this bum was wearing my hat grew even more miscued until a light bulb flickered above one of the cops. He then proceeded to handcuff the guy thinking he stole the beanie! Bahh after chilling every out i simply left in a walk of shame, defeat, and emptiness. After getting so much hope of getting it back the beanie has escaped me once more. Maybe someday ill see it again. No question i'm gonna steal that shit back.

new Cut Copy sounds weak: the sentiment of power-pop energy isn't the same in the new LP and it begs a lot more to heard that ultimately dissapoints.

Neil Young, Live at Massey Halley 1971

"When the winter rains
come pourin' down
On that new home of mine,
Will you think of me
and wonder if I'm fine?"

Starting off!

After i seeing Miles White, my last Charlestonian friend, i was off to Prague. Pretty painless trip. Included getting wasted off mini bottles on the flight over the big Atlantic lake, me spilling wine all over myself just to get compensated for a fresh one, and seeing my first Steve McQueen movie (Bullit: suspensful but lil dissapointing) and the fucking miserable Denzel moving "Unstoppable." You guessed, they stopped the train. After some theatrical mishaps, someone drove a truck to the front caboose and literally just slowed down. Sorry for ruining it for you, and if i did you should consider how big of lunatic you are.
Get to Frankfurt and see all sorts of funny signs. Restaraunts called Italianissimo and Wing Wang. Germans ask for me to open my bag. "We vmust inspect the amplifier, yaa??"

I am in Prague! After 14 hours of flying, I got on the CEA bus that took me to my apartment. The other twenty or so peers are staying in a dorm type complex while i ventured up a set of very sketchy stairs to find the most beautiful loft apartment i could have ever been blessed with. Full kitchen, living room, steps to an attic for stomp dancing. Room mates are have great tastes in music and i think with a little of balanced alone time and some journeys with friends this place is going to work out well.

Back with more specific stories soon. Ill be updating more regurally so posts are much more concise.
AHOY!