occupy addlestone. i hung out with chloe tonight, unexpectedly. Unexpectedly is a good way to describe what has been developing between us so far. We unexpectedly ran into each other at the library and we unexpectedly made an inside joke leading to an unexpected good time. We unexpectedly keep running into each other although our pool of friends is becoming very similar. She woke me up, unexpectedly, Saturday night when she came home with Chip and i unexpectedly assumed she smoked cigarettes and was a girl with an ego. I unexpectedly saw her this evening and unexpectedly keep hanging out with Charles Nyugen who unexpectedly reached out for my friendship some years ago... I did not respond. She unexpectedly gave me attention as we fled from the slurred mutterings of Alex Collins. She's good at sarcasm, attempting/reading it. She is really swell though, very personal with her touch. She touched my arms multiple times. I especially remember when she said she was a "black girl" and that i should not be afraid to be in a relationship with her, i replied "i don't know, i'm a battered man. black girls have hurt me." she wanted to grab my arm when she mistook the doorway and she wanted to continue the conversation. She walked me as far as she could before she rode off on her bike. We stalled, i stumbled stupidly forgetting about lasting impressions and made a remark of her sister's exboyfriend but she didn't give up. She kissed me on the neck. Maybe she was thinking about doing it before. John Williams met her, so did Jake Klopp. I don't know what that means but man it all means something. It's all so unintentional, unpredictable. I have learned to never to shy away from attention; when a woman shows interest in you, a gentlemen's only motive should be to see that the woman is still interested and that the gentlemen does not fret about other opportunities but the one at hand.
I've been listening to two songs lately, over and over again. I can never seem to stop thinking about them, it's crazy. Yuck's song "Suck" and "The Shakes" by Atlas Sound. They are both so wonderful. Alright, enough procrastinating KC it's time to start concentrating. 2:17 AM... you don't look nice but you could be worse. Let's keep it up. Just found out about shows on the 16th and 17th... pumped.
Gentlemen don't yell, gentlemen don't yell, whatever you do don't yell. you're a gentlemen. i know, you were really frustrated but don't yell. you always yell. you wanted her to see the whole concert and you yelled. now you'll never know what she was going to say to you. you should have listened and comly told her it wasn't cool. you would have like to have said stay for the rest of the set but then i might have gotten on stage all defeated and played like a defeated scrawny energy-less bass player. although yelling at her got out some rage and kind of possessed you in playing a really good 2nd set gentlemen don't yell. gentlemen don't yell. gentlemen don't yell. i'm sorry charlotte, you do these horrible things to me, even though they are my 'worst nightmares' at the moment i make those conclusions because i know you so damn well so therefore i should think of something witte and short and something that will make you feel horrible. but that won't be a problem seeing we won't be talking very much soon. i want to be friends again someday, i was so surpised how chloe and jack ran into each other so casually and carried off on a nice conversation. i think as soon as i get my seeds in the ground with another girl i'll be like that with her. i also think that i've been in denial for the last month and seeing charlotte bring stephen to the show really shut the door on the coffin. it was a really shitty year we had, a downright awful 2011. i don't know what that means for the future but it more than less says alot of how we function. i just need not to yell anymore at her. ever again. because gentlemen don't yell.